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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Ranting On: Spider-Man (2012)

So the other day we got our first picture of Andrew Garfield in the Spider-Man suit from Marc Webb's upcoming Spider-Man film, set for release on July 3rd, 2012. Yeah, I think it's a cool costume, but I already have two problems with it. Well, to be fair, one problem and one concern. Concern first, we haven't seen the mask yet, which either leads me to believe that 1) promotions thought this frame was just super cool and had to be seen, or 2) The mask isn't anywhere near as cool looking as the rest of the costume and was avoided for negative fan feed back. I hope its not the 2nd one, but since the rest of the costume is strongly based on the 'Ultimate Spider-Man' costume, I hope they don't go with that mask, because frankly I just think the original mask can be taken more seriously.... you know... with out the GIANT eyes and all. Still, I don't think that this costume looks like anything Peter Parker could whip up in a night. That is, unless his school focus is textile manufacturing and he comes from a family that has been nothing but tailors for the past 30 generations.

Now my major problem at this moment with all the news about the new Spider-Man is that he will fire his web's from WEB PACKS. Remember web packs from the original comic and the animated series? Those stupid capsule's that Peter Parker made HIMSELF, that he would put into little metal gadgets on his wrists and spray amazingly manufactured spider webs out of his hands until he ran out. First the idea that Peter can figure out how to do this at all is amazing, literally amazing. More amazing than any invention anyone has ever made. I don't even know if Tony Stark could figure this shit out, and Tony Stark is a certified genius. This then raises the question of - If Peter Parker can whip up this amazing invention to make him so much more spider-like, why doesn't he make all sorts of awesome tech things? You know, things for his eyes to focus in and do precise targeting, for his ears to hear any sound, you know, all that stuff that cool tech-hero's have today. Also, building web's to shoot out of your wrists is insanely arbitrary.

But with out the power to shoot webs out of wherever, you know what else is arbitrary? The need to call yourself SPIDER-MAN. So what, he has crazy fast agility and is stronger than the average. There are so many other animals with those traits. Bears. Ants. Scorpions. Hell, Cockroaches even have those two things. And you know what, none of those things shoot webs. Sure, maybe it's because he got bit by a spider. That's why it's his symbol. But no, that's no reason. Batman chose the Bat because that's what he feared the most, Green Lantern got the ring with the lantern symbol, Flash moves faster than a flash, Martian Man-hunter is pretty straight forward too. If anything, Spider-Man should be without webs and called "The Responsible Power-Man" as in, "With great power comes great responsibility...." or "Uncle Ben's Great Disappointment-Man", because those are the things that made him who he is. The spider thematically has the least to do with it. This is the equivalent of me being punched in the face by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and promptly changing my name to "Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson-Man", that is, until somebody says "No Kid, call yourself.... 'Dwayne-Rock-Man', because that'll read better in the papers." It's just ridiculous.

So if there is anything to learn here, Sam Raimi got it right. The webs should be natural because this gives him a reason to be Spider-Man. The webs are such a big part of his identity it's no wonder they intergrated them into his body later naturally, and it's a huge wonder why they didn't just do that from the start. Today seems to be obsessed with the D.I.Y hero. The powerless hero who decides he wants to be a super-hero, and does it all himself; Kick-Ass, Iron-Man, Green Hornet, Super, and more. What's wrong with letting a few hero's continue the lore and fantasy or being bit by a spider or being coated in radiation, and waking up a new person? A person with superpowers and a legacy to fill.


JC Elizondo said...

The interesting part is that in the old comics he had the web devices but in th e Raimi movies they took it out cause it made no realistic sense. In ultimate, marvel also took i out taking a cue form Raimi. this movie is supposed to be the ultimate version but it has the web slingers form the original

Anonymous said...

He calls himself Spider-Man because he was bitten by a spider. Do you actually know what you´re talking about?! The fact that he´s able to construct artificial web shooters point out his intelligence.
And the new costume looks nothing like the "Ultimate" costume. The ultimate costume looks exactly the same like the regular costume. The movie costume is a totally new design. Maybe you should read some Spider-Man comics before you post shit like that.

Ezra Edmond said...

Fine, I guess the major difference is that in ultimate Peter is SO much skinnier, and that makes the costume look different, EXCEPT for the mask, where the eyes are just gargantuan.

Yeah, he was bitten by a spider, and if that makes his transformation he should be able to do the ONE THING EVERYONE ASSOCIATES WITH A SPIDER - make webs. Also, Intelligence? No. SUPER genius if he can build WEB shooters. Size wise, they make no sense, how they adjust nozzle width on a whim makes no sense. Nothing about them makes any sense. Nobody could figure out how to do that. If Peter Parker could figure that out, then how is he EVER caught in any situation and why isnt robotics and technology SUCH a larger part of his life? Peter Parker is a hot headed, average teen, who uses what has been given to him. The fact that he made a costume at all instead of just putting on a mask is a miracle in itself.

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