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Tuesday, July 5, 2011


Transformers: Dark of the Moon might appeal to those who enjoyed Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen. But then again if you are one of them, you might be really annoyed at how much alike they are. In one short sentence: Transformers 3 is a Xerox copy Transformers 2 in 3D and without Megan Fox. One could see this as an improvement on Transformers 2, but then what isn’t? Or, one could see this as the removal of the only good quality Transformer 2 had: its 2D.

Either way this is not good movie, regardless on your appreciation of Bayhem.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Yes, there is lots and lots of Bayhem (explosions at sunset), tremendous amounts of it. No one involved in this movie, or anyone watch it is pretending that it was going to be anything more than that. But you seriously grow tired of it after it refuses to slow down. And you are not even halfway through the movie. I watched this on 2D, so I can’t say it as a fact, but my guess is the 3D would have made it even more unbearable to watch. I still cannot fathom how you eyes and brains would be able to keep up to the 3D projection short of guaranteeing a brain hemorrhage.

The thin plot is identical to that of Transformers 2; some ancient, all-powerful transformer knows something about some ├╝ber-powerful transformer technology that might destroy the Earth (or maybe the Universe), unless Sam Witwicky and the Autobots get to it before the government or the bad guys get to it. Pretty much everything happens in the same order as well.

The reason why it might be better than Transformers 2 is that the urban destruction scenes are much easier to understand and follow than they were then. There is also the matter of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley having replaced Megan Fox; Rosie provides some of the worst acting that has been seen this side of Tommy Wiseau’s The Room, which proves to be hilarious at the right times.

I liked the first Transformers movie quite a bit. And I even learned to appreciate the second Transformers movie after reading this post-irony review about it being an art movie about the illusory nature of plot. Fine, I’d buy it the first time. But you cannot pull the same gimmick twice and get away with it. Or can you? Transformers: Dark of the Moon is now past $400 million worldwide after just its first weekend. And it will likely keep on bringing in the mullah.

Regardless this is a mediocre movie. Even for a Transformers movie. And that is not saying much about it.

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