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Sunday, August 9, 2009


I was quite lenient when I gave Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen a 3. So, I guess it is appropriate to do the same for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, since both films share a similar background, being based of a toy line, and because when you go see these movies you go without high expectations only expecting some decent entertainment, big explosions, sexy women, a bit of farce, and some cheesy romance subplot. Like Transformers, G.I. Joe has all of these. But in my opinion it does a far better job with them. Here is why:

  1. Having big robots clank against each other is pretty cool but having dudes in accelerator suits running through Paris dodging bazooka blasts and going through trains is even cooler. Seeing the Eiffel Tower fall is just as cool (not even the Nazis managed to do that).
  2. G.I. Joe has a white ninja and a black ninja facing off against each other with swords. One of them has two swords. And they both have a mysterious past.
  3. The G.I. Joes are “international”. There is a guy from Morocco, a guy from Japan, one from East Africa, a Scottish redhead (that speaks Celtic) and two Americans. So it’s not just an American wank-off.
  4. The pyramids of Egypt are located in their appropriate geographic location (not a few miles from Jordan or the sea).
  5. You can easily understand what is happening during the action sequences. This takes some really good directing and editing. Films nowadays seem to have forgotten how to orient the audience during action sequences. The camera shakes all over, you get dizzy, and all remember is some dude died but your not sure who. Here you know at every instant where everyone is located in terms of the action and it makes sense.
  6. The main villain has a Scottish accent (but happens to be French).
  7. Although we don’t get to see Meagan Fox’s cleavage instead we are given a pair of sexy women, with librarian haircuts and glasses, in tight latex. Something much more classy than Miss Fox’ trashy persona.
  8. Stephen Sommer’s gave us The Mummy Trilogy (A.K.A. the mother load of all good bad movies). He also gave us Van Helsing, a movie so over the top that it almost matches Michael Bay. G.I. Joe plays like a blend of those two but set in a near future.
  9. There are gadgets here that would make James Bond green with envy. If there is one thing G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra does right it is that it is a movie about boys and their toys. This fits perfectly since G.I. Joe’s are toys for (little) boys.
  10. It also has an ominous ending that prepares it perfectly for the sequel.
As I said with Transformers, this is not a good movie. It is just fun. But respectively it rises above most of these summer’s blockbusters, which have over all been quite disappointing. I would say G.I. Joe is a mediocre on movie quality but highly recommended in summer 2009 terms. So I’ll average them out and give it a 3 (.5 if I could).

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