5 stars5 stars5 stars5 stars5 stars5 stars

Friday, May 25, 2012


There isn’t much to Soderbergh’s newest film. The plot for the most part is nonsense; like many action films, Haywire simply uses any excuse to weave chase scene after chase scene together. In fact, Haywire isn’t really any different than a movie like, let’s say, The Transporter, except that the action is choreographed to look plausible, and that like every other Soderbergh film, it features a parade of cameos that includes every Hollywood name worth mentioning: Michael Fassbender, Michael Douglas, Ewan McGreggor, Gary Oldman, etc. Yet, despite their presence Gina Carano, a relatively unknown actress, remains the most interesting part of the film; and it is not thanks to her acting prowess. 

Carano plays Mallory Kane, an independent contractor who works for a firm that specializes in performing other’s dirty work. In plain English, she is an assassin. Like many characters in her line of work, Kane soon finds out she is being hunted by the very agency that hired her in the first place. Why? Because apparently, Mallory is so good at what she does, she becomes dangerous for her own firm. Talk about a bad business plan. How can a company be financially viable when it has to kill its best employees, using another one of its best employees? Add in life insurance costs and I bet you these companies have a shorter life span than their goons.

But I guess we are not supposed to ask these questions, questions like: "Why would anyone work for Dr Evil when they know his secret submarine lair is going to get flooded the moment MI6 steps in sends Austin Powers?" These jobs must offer some serious benefits. I am also curious about what the human resources manager working at these places thinks when they hire a new goon/assassin/contractor. Whoever hired Mallory Kane must have been a guy, because who else would hire a parkouring super assassin that will wear skintight clothing while on the job?  

Anyway, the movie is – I guess – supposed to be a “realistic” take on this whole world of private assassins. I appreciate the realistic action; for once it seems that punches, kicks, and falls can actually hurt the heroine, but the plot is so flimsy and unnecessarily convoluted that you quickly find yourself waiting for the next scene where Carano will kick more ass.
Haywire is now available for rent in iTunes, and Amazon Instant Video, and is one of those movies that at just 90 minutes (and if you have nothing else to do), might be worth it, or you can just watch the Transporter trilogy again. It'll go by faster. 

No comments:

Views and comments expressed by readers and guest contributors are not necessarily shared by the consistent team of THE MOVIE WATCH. This is a free speech zone and we will not censor guest bloggers, but ask that you do not hold us accountable for what they proclaim.